Did you recently have sex? Is your period late? If yes, there is a good possibility you are pregnant. Telling your boyfriend you might be pregnant can either make or break your relationship. Here are a few things we suggest you do before telling him. You can also contact us for a no-cost consultation.
First, Have You Confirmed Your Pregnancy?
You may wonder why you need pregnancy confirmation when your period is late. Isn’t that enough confirmation? We recommend first taking one of our no-cost, confidential pregnancy tests. If the test is positive, we will schedule you for a no-cost limited obstetrical ultrasound.
The Possibility of a Miscarriage
Experts estimate that 26% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage. That’s more than one in four pregnancies! And 80% of those miscarriages occur in the first trimester (12 weeks) when most women discover they are pregnant.
Because it takes a woman’s body time to return to pre-pregnancy hormone levels, you could get a positive pregnancy test days or weeks after a miscarriage. An ultrasound determines if your pregnancy is developing or if you have had a miscarriage.
Knowing How Far Along You Are
If you think you and your boyfriend will discuss the possibility of an abortion, you need to know precisely how far along you are. Abortion providers choose their procedure based on the number of weeks you have been pregnant.
For instance, the FDA approves the use of abortion drugs (the abortion pill method) through 10 weeks of pregnancy only. If you are sexually active, it may be difficult to determine when you got pregnant. An ultrasound shows how long you have been pregnant based on measurements.
Ruling Out an Ectopic Pregnancy
Although rare, some pregnancies are ectopic. This type of pregnancy grows outside the uterus and is extremely dangerous, even life-threatening. You need to know the location of your pregnancy.
An ultrasound locates your pregnancy to ensure it’s developing in the correct place. If not located in your uterus, you will need to see your healthcare provider immediately.
Telling Your Boyfriend
Once you have specific information about your pregnancy, you can break the news to your boyfriend. Or, if you have a close relationship, you should bring him with you for your ultrasound scan.
There are a few things to keep in mind as you consider talking to your boyfriend:
Do You Feel Safe?
If your boyfriend has anger issues or violent tendencies, you want to be careful how and where you tell him. Take a trusted friend or family member to break the news, and choose a public place if you feel unsafe.
If your relationship was rocky before your pregnancy, it may get worse once you make the announcement. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). No one should stay in an abusive relationship. You deserve respect and dignity.
Give Him Space to Absorb the News
There’s no easy way to tell or hear the news about an unexpected pregnancy. You can either show your boyfriend the positive pregnancy test or the ultrasound confirmation. Be prepared to give him time.
You were shocked when you first realized you were pregnant. He will be, too. Don’t let his first reaction determine what you do next. After all, your boyfriend is the father of your baby. He may want to co-parent or even parent on his own if you aren’t ready for the responsibility. He may favor placing the child for adoption, too.
Don’t Let Him Pressure You
Your boyfriend should definitely give you his opinion, but the choice is yours. Never let anyone pressure you into making a decision you don’t want to make, especially having an abortion.
There are many support centers and networks available to help you with an unplanned pregnancy.
How Women’s Care Can Help You
In addition to our no-cost services like pregnancy testing and limited ultrasound scans, we can talk with you and your boyfriend about your pregnancy options.
Although we do not perform or refer for abortion, we can give you factual information about abortion procedures, side effects to expect, and potential physical and emotional risks. You can also learn about the possibility of making an adoption plan or parenting.
Use our convenient and confidential online contact form to schedule an appointment. You can also call or text us. We’re here for you.